Positively Erin Marie

Over the 14+ years I have been a mom I have heard many people say “they’re just kids”. I’ve even used the phrase myself from time to time but a few years ago I really started taking this phrase to heart and looking at the meaning behind it. What prompted my pondering at the time was my desire for a happier home with less, well…yelling at my kids for being just that…kids. For example…sword fighting (with foam swords of course) was a constant annoyance because someone was always getting hurt. My boys (then 9 and 5) would laugh hysterically and chase each other around the house with these foam swords but inevitably someone always ends up whacking the other in the head or too hard and my husband and I were constantly telling them to stop and wondering why they always want to sword fight if it ALWAYS ended the same way…someone crying about something the other did. Like why on earth would you do something if you’re going to end up hurt, right? Makes sense right?

That’s just the thing. To us maybe…but we’re adults. It was almost as if the fact that I was an adult and they were just kids hit me out of the blue. And I realized I had been scrutinizing their behavior from the perspective of an adult but I needed to look at their behavior differently if I was going to truly understand why they do the things they do and give them grace if and when something goes wrong. I needed to remember that I was a kid once and did I do what they’ve done? Or would I have done it when I was a kid? Probably, right? And really what’s the big deal if they’re having fun and playing happily together? I need to let them be kids and make mistakes because that’s how they’ll learn. If we always correct what our kids do before they have the chance to fail how are they going to toughen up for the real world? How are they going to deal with failure or mistakes when they’re adults?

For kids the world revolves around them…I’ve said many times to them “the world does not revolve around you”. But in their eyes it does right? Because we’re always doing things for them…cooking, laundry, cleaning up after them, driving them around like a chauffeur…and that’s just how kids view the world. And that’s ok…to an extent. As they get older we need to make sure they realize there are other people who need attention too and that’s ok. It’s important too to let them see what it’s like to serve others. When they do things here and there for people I make it a point to say things like “doesn’t it feel nice to do something for someone else?”

All that to say…our kids need to be given a chance to be kids. We can steer them in the right direction as far as what’s right and wrong and make sure they understand what is appropriate and what isn’t but we need to understand that they’re just kids. And kids sometimes do weird things or make stupid mistakes but that’s how they learn about life. They’re not perfect and we can’t expect them to be and to know what’s right and wrong yet. So let’s give our kids grace and try to see their behavior in a different light. If we want to have a happier home with less yelling and more understanding then we need to make sure we don’t overlook that one small but important detail…they’re just kids.😉

Until next time friends! 

-Erin Marie